Insecurities Within Relationships

December 10, 2011, I posted as a Facebook status:

One thing I've learned is, if you can't spill your secrets out, have to hide the way you feel about something, have to censor what you say, can't be your TRUE self, you're constantly being put down with and by a person, then there's no point in being best friends or a couple.

I STILL faithfully stand by that today, though, at moments, it has been lost in the background. I relate this to ones insecurities in a relationship.

Insecurities exist no matter what. You can love yourself, know yourself and still have insecurities that sneak up on you. We are all human. Dealing with them is one thing by yourself, but a whole other thing when another party is involved. When another is involved, it can become a battle to face and deal with--secure--together.

I see a true relationship as a team. Whatever problems the other faces, you do not have to be the one who solves them all the time, if anything, just make certain they are not being faced alone. Insecurities can be involved.

You cannot trust any and everyone with your insecurities. Select wisely.

When insecurity arises, in a relationship, one should not have to hide that side of them. In fact, your partner should be right there by your side, helping you work through the insecurities. No belittling should be done or taking the situation as a joke. In fact, they should make you more secure than at the start of it all. The same should be done in return--a two-way street, not one. If your partner is disregarding your insecurity, after bringing the problem forth, then you might want to reevaluate who you are with.

In a healthy relationship, security is a must. But, again, it is a team effort.

So not only should your partner be there making you feel more secure, but you, yourself, have to work on it. If you do not work on yourself, depending on the insecurity, it can become detrimental to the relationship.