Suicidal (Old, Old Story)

By Shaire Blythe

Introduction

The rope dangled in her light-honey hand. The tattered wooden chair barely stood on the opposite side of the dark, secluded room. All the tools she needed was right their in front of her very own eyes, but for some reason she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

 

A dirty, streaked tear ran down her face, unexpectedly. She couldn’t believe she was actually crying. Crying is one thing that never came easy for her. Didn’t cry the fateful night her Mom passed, didn’t shed a tear the day Chris became useless in everyone else’s eyes, but stayed valuable in hers; and didn’t weep when someone actually cared for her. She wasn’t backing down though. If her Mom could’ve done it, then she was going to. Fearless, just like her Mom.

 

She trudged closer and closer to the scene that soon will be crowded with the authorities, swarming everywhere, trying to collect every piece of evidence they could get.

 

She could just picture him now. Would he cry? Would he even care? No doubt he would care. He’s the one who’s cared about her from the very beginning, that didn’t want her to get into this mess; that tried to stop her every time she was slowly killing herself. But he’s not here to stop her this time. This time she wasn’t gradually killing herself by taking ecstasy, painkillers, or any other unknown drug she’s put in her system. Oh no. This time she’s going to die for real.

 

She steadied herself before stepping onto the chair and wrapping the rope around the rusted bar. She made sure she tied it tight. She can‘t come back this time. She placed the hoop around her neck and pulled hard. She stood there a while just thinking of the short life she’s had. The short, painful life she’s had.

 

How could God love you and put so much pressure on you? People told her it’s his way of testing you. “Testing you for what?” Was all she could ask. She never understood it. “If God loved me then why did he take my Mom away? If God loved me then why did he make my Father walk out? If God loved me then why did he make me this way today? Why am I in this predicament?” No one could ever give her the answer she wanted to hear. In fact, she couldn’t even pinpoint what she wanted to hear. Maybe she’s lost, like Christians say. Maybe she’s misplaced her keys and need someone to help her find them….No. It’s too late for that. This is it. This is the time.

 

“Chezley!” It was too late. She jumped off the chair and gasped heavy breaths. Her vision became blurry as her life was slowly being sucked away from her.

And just like that, she was gone.