Why Am I Here?

Sooo.. Where to really even begin? I'm feeling more & more like I'm in Cinderella's shoes everyday. And I'm not talking about her glass slippers either. I'm in torn slave shoes or no shoes at all. How did I even get to this dreadful stage? I'm 18 years young, just graduated high shool in May, was suppose to be a wonderful, hard-studying college student at the University of Louisville, but no. I'm guessing that God didn't have that in mind for me.. I mean, I did get to be a Freshman in college for like a week, but then, for personal reasons (not truly prepared, money-wise, rude butt people that were suppose to be helping me -not making my life more of a chaotic scene off of Titanic or some crap, 'cause they really did make me feel like my 'ship' was sinking and I was going to die - as well as my Mom's deteriorating health from MS) made the hardest decision in my life to make the four hour drive back home and stay. After feeling like the biggest loser & failure in the world, not blind to the fact that my peers were adjusting just well wherever they had chosen to take their 'leap of faith' (or at least they do a hell of a good job making the surface look that way).. Buttt, I actually did begin to feel somewhat comfortable & less ashamed of my decision. I got my old job back, so I wasn't & I'm still not sitting on my bum doing absolutely nothing. I'm saving even more money up, because I'm determined to get back on my feet and start college Fall 2013 (no rush this time) at a place that's meant for my character. It all seemed pretty okay, until my older sister made the choice to leave home (after she dropped out of college due to pregnancy) & left me to be what I'm beginning to call a slave to my bedridden Mother. & God knows I love her, but I always thought it made more sense for me to be taking care of my parents when I got older and after I had settled down and had a family or something. I haven't even begun to live my life. & I'm not trying to be selfish either (cough, cough - my sister). It's just irritating hearing my name called every five seconds, and I can't even catch a break. Not to mention, this isn't my first time dealing with it all alone. My sister had left once before & had actually told me she wouldn't hang me out to dry like that again, but I see words doesn't mean anything..

It's just real tough doing it all on my own. I won't give up, though. But God still has me questioning Why Am I Here. The most common answer I've heard has had to be: You're right here, because here is exactly where He wants you to be.