Let The Healing Begin
So, here I am again, "cleansing my soul"--so to speak. Really, I'll call it "healing." I'm at that moment were everything is so fresh that I cannot sleep, hence why I'm up typing this post going on four in the morning.
It's alright though. I will be okay.
I'm reminding myself of how I got through my last break-up. I'm taking those familiar steps, but it's not as painful as last time.
Never knowing what's real or not is a killer. I'm always one to make up excuses in my head--trying to think all logically with a million different scenarios--when my gut feeling speaks for itself. This break-up was overdue.
Communication has made the hole in my chest disappear. For now. It may come back if any unwanted news was to disturb my "healing process," but for now, it's non-existent and I'm glad.
I don't want to speak too early like I did last time, but this guy, I would consider him good, and I'm going to leave it at that for now. I will also mention I've never had a guy treat me better. He has set the bar. Once that bar is set, trying to make it come down is near impossible when it comes to my standards (an ideology I have adopted within maybe six months?). It goes back to What I Must Hold Myself To--the last "plan" I made up to piece myself back together after another break-up. One of those days had a quote that was along the lines of: "Don't ever apologize for having high standards, Those who want to be in your life will rise up to meet them." I haven't forgotten about all of the rest, though I have had to remind myself a couple of times here and there.
I'm going to make it through this though. I have disconnected from all social media, once more, except this blog of mine. It always helps me come back to earth. It's the realest thing a part of me, social media wise. I have respectfully asked for communication to come to a halt between the necessary individual and I, so I can have my distance of "building a bridge and getting over it." And I'm just going to focus on me again. It'll be a daily routine of me, blog (here and there), family, food, work, writings ('cause Lord knows I can be knocking them out, which I have) and like one friend or two.
I don't want to know bitterness. I don't want to believe that all guys are the same, 'cause that would be far from true. I'm not much of a sappy-romance type of lady, but somewhere within me I still believe that A Walk To Remember can become true, or The Notebook and even freaking Twilight. I wouldn't bawl my eyes out if I didn't believe and cry, "Oh, my God. I want that. Why can't that be me? She's so damn lucky." (Lol).
Those beautiful moments of screen-shoted love just give a glimmer of what a true relationship can be, and sometimes, should be.
It's alright though. I will be okay.
I'm reminding myself of how I got through my last break-up. I'm taking those familiar steps, but it's not as painful as last time.
Never knowing what's real or not is a killer. I'm always one to make up excuses in my head--trying to think all logically with a million different scenarios--when my gut feeling speaks for itself. This break-up was overdue.
Communication has made the hole in my chest disappear. For now. It may come back if any unwanted news was to disturb my "healing process," but for now, it's non-existent and I'm glad.
I don't want to speak too early like I did last time, but this guy, I would consider him good, and I'm going to leave it at that for now. I will also mention I've never had a guy treat me better. He has set the bar. Once that bar is set, trying to make it come down is near impossible when it comes to my standards (an ideology I have adopted within maybe six months?). It goes back to What I Must Hold Myself To--the last "plan" I made up to piece myself back together after another break-up. One of those days had a quote that was along the lines of: "Don't ever apologize for having high standards, Those who want to be in your life will rise up to meet them." I haven't forgotten about all of the rest, though I have had to remind myself a couple of times here and there.
I'm going to make it through this though. I have disconnected from all social media, once more, except this blog of mine. It always helps me come back to earth. It's the realest thing a part of me, social media wise. I have respectfully asked for communication to come to a halt between the necessary individual and I, so I can have my distance of "building a bridge and getting over it." And I'm just going to focus on me again. It'll be a daily routine of me, blog (here and there), family, food, work, writings ('cause Lord knows I can be knocking them out, which I have) and like one friend or two.
I don't want to know bitterness. I don't want to believe that all guys are the same, 'cause that would be far from true. I'm not much of a sappy-romance type of lady, but somewhere within me I still believe that A Walk To Remember can become true, or The Notebook and even freaking Twilight. I wouldn't bawl my eyes out if I didn't believe and cry, "Oh, my God. I want that. Why can't that be me? She's so damn lucky." (Lol).
Those beautiful moments of screen-shoted love just give a glimmer of what a true relationship can be, and sometimes, should be.
Comments
Post a Comment