Treating Me Like Your Secret
Imagine planning one single day out for weeks. Every second, every minute, every hour, you only thought about what was going to occur on that day, and you're more than excited. That day finally comes, you pick out the best outfit - have yourself looking right - you feel so confident about yourself, ready to take on whatever may come your way. And then, come to find out that that day can no longer happen for you. For whatever reason, your plans got cut. All of the planning for nothing. Everything for nothing.
This seems like my life this very moment. More personal, though, like hanging with people (guys), or dating. However, that (dating), I do not do much. Can be my own fault or the others. But moving on, it always seems to happen to me and I don't know why. I'm forever cautious with saying it, but I speak my mind and always hope the answer I'm given is honest. What I'm forever cautious with speaking is: Do You Not Want To Be Seen In Public With Me?
I hate it. Hate it. Hate it. But I say it anyways when the pattern seems too familiar or it seems obvious.
If you're wondering what the heck I'm talking about it's basically this: I have a date/plans set up, get ready and all, and then the other person cancels or says why don't we do something else instead (typically not in the public eye). I'm just fed up. That knocks me down ten feet. From there, I cry, wondering what the hell is wrong with me, and ask multiple questions to myself, and then I wipe my tears away and say whatever.
This is one of the main reasons I don't mess with a lot of people, whether friends or more. They let you down in ways that seems so unnecessary. If you don't want to be seen with me, don't make plans with me in any way. It's that simple. I don't do those games, I'm not settling for halfway.
Settling for halfway, I've done too many times before. Keeping me some secret for whatever reason leads to no good, and it doesn't make me feel good about myself. That's why I raise the bar more and more. If it makes me into a bitch with the highest standards, well, at least one of the points marking where and why it began would be known; and it almost can be justifiable - tired of being treated like a damn secret. No one deserves that.
This seems like my life this very moment. More personal, though, like hanging with people (guys), or dating. However, that (dating), I do not do much. Can be my own fault or the others. But moving on, it always seems to happen to me and I don't know why. I'm forever cautious with saying it, but I speak my mind and always hope the answer I'm given is honest. What I'm forever cautious with speaking is: Do You Not Want To Be Seen In Public With Me?
I hate it. Hate it. Hate it. But I say it anyways when the pattern seems too familiar or it seems obvious.
If you're wondering what the heck I'm talking about it's basically this: I have a date/plans set up, get ready and all, and then the other person cancels or says why don't we do something else instead (typically not in the public eye). I'm just fed up. That knocks me down ten feet. From there, I cry, wondering what the hell is wrong with me, and ask multiple questions to myself, and then I wipe my tears away and say whatever.
This is one of the main reasons I don't mess with a lot of people, whether friends or more. They let you down in ways that seems so unnecessary. If you don't want to be seen with me, don't make plans with me in any way. It's that simple. I don't do those games, I'm not settling for halfway.
Settling for halfway, I've done too many times before. Keeping me some secret for whatever reason leads to no good, and it doesn't make me feel good about myself. That's why I raise the bar more and more. If it makes me into a bitch with the highest standards, well, at least one of the points marking where and why it began would be known; and it almost can be justifiable - tired of being treated like a damn secret. No one deserves that.
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