Expecting the Worst
Is it bad to say I've wired myself to expect the worst out of people, so if they do indeed let me down, it doesn't have a terrible affect on me at times?
I've noticed it kind of started from an early age with me with my Dad. God knows I love him to death, but he has had his times of being absent. Mainly when it was early in like the stage of my parents divorce and a little while after. He would make promises he never kept. So I started to not believe anything he said until I saw it with my own eyes.
That was like the beginning. Other things happened that deepened the void. But sometimes I feel as if I'm maybe too passive. That has hurt some who really cared, and I don't mean to, but it's what I had to do to minimize the hurt in me.
Some things I'm not able to see straight through without an outlet. That is typically when I go to my writings to vent or rant whatever I'm feeling about whatever situation.
But, heck, I don't know...
I've noticed it kind of started from an early age with me with my Dad. God knows I love him to death, but he has had his times of being absent. Mainly when it was early in like the stage of my parents divorce and a little while after. He would make promises he never kept. So I started to not believe anything he said until I saw it with my own eyes.
That was like the beginning. Other things happened that deepened the void. But sometimes I feel as if I'm maybe too passive. That has hurt some who really cared, and I don't mean to, but it's what I had to do to minimize the hurt in me.
Some things I'm not able to see straight through without an outlet. That is typically when I go to my writings to vent or rant whatever I'm feeling about whatever situation.
But, heck, I don't know...
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