Stop Settling
I, first, want to say: know your worth. I had this talk with this amazing, lovable guy at my job. I am completely surrounded by males in my work environment, and it has come to be a wonderful thing--not being surrounded by males, but being able to talk to them in ways that have become eye-opening for myself. This guy shared his relationship problems with me, which I did not mind at all. I love the opportunity to give my insight in hopes to better others on their path; I also love to make certain they know they are never alone. After what he shared, all I knew was that he deserved better. What he was dishing out was not being returned, but he could not help himself from being drawn towards this girl that was practically taking his heart and smashing it in to the mud.
Know your worth and know you deserve much better than that.
That is where settling comes along.
These past couple weeks, I have had enough conversations with different people--I have dealt with my own relationship problems too--to find the common pattern that we are persistent on settling with either something we really want the most, but not what is best for us, or the first person that just happens to give us their attention or even someone we are familiar with. In the end, ultimately, these are not good enough reasons.
Relationships are meant to be a two-way street. Not one-way. We lose that vision sometimes giving our all while the other person has taken off and done their own little thing, or only hits us up when he or she needs some favor or help. A line needs to be drawn. Regardless of the way you may feel about that person, you will keep getting used if you allow them to run over you like a doormat.
Now, I understand there are some people who do not mind settling at all; they will snatch up whoever comes their way and is there. That is called "not being able to be alone," and I will address that in another post soon.
What I am learning is that some people enter your life in the most beautiful ways. You may share deep things with them, you may feel this undeniable connection unlike any other you have ever felt, but that does not define the entire relationship. When those good feelings start to become memories and the other person is no longer making you feel those things you once felt, after you have addressed the problem with that person--if you never address it, they will never know; people are not mind readers--then it is time to step out. If that one person truly cares, they will come running for you and make it right. And not just for a moment and then they go back to their old ways again. They will come make it right throughout the remainder of the relationship.
I kid you not, there are too many good people out there for you to accept one that could honestly care less about your feelings. One of those good ones were created exactly for you, and you will know. You will not have to pine for attention or lose yourself in the process of trying to get their attention. That one person will connect with you fully and you will never have to question them because they
will show and give you everything that you had been missing.
Know your worth and know you deserve much better than that.
That is where settling comes along.
These past couple weeks, I have had enough conversations with different people--I have dealt with my own relationship problems too--to find the common pattern that we are persistent on settling with either something we really want the most, but not what is best for us, or the first person that just happens to give us their attention or even someone we are familiar with. In the end, ultimately, these are not good enough reasons.
Relationships are meant to be a two-way street. Not one-way. We lose that vision sometimes giving our all while the other person has taken off and done their own little thing, or only hits us up when he or she needs some favor or help. A line needs to be drawn. Regardless of the way you may feel about that person, you will keep getting used if you allow them to run over you like a doormat.
Now, I understand there are some people who do not mind settling at all; they will snatch up whoever comes their way and is there. That is called "not being able to be alone," and I will address that in another post soon.
What I am learning is that some people enter your life in the most beautiful ways. You may share deep things with them, you may feel this undeniable connection unlike any other you have ever felt, but that does not define the entire relationship. When those good feelings start to become memories and the other person is no longer making you feel those things you once felt, after you have addressed the problem with that person--if you never address it, they will never know; people are not mind readers--then it is time to step out. If that one person truly cares, they will come running for you and make it right. And not just for a moment and then they go back to their old ways again. They will come make it right throughout the remainder of the relationship.
I kid you not, there are too many good people out there for you to accept one that could honestly care less about your feelings. One of those good ones were created exactly for you, and you will know. You will not have to pine for attention or lose yourself in the process of trying to get their attention. That one person will connect with you fully and you will never have to question them because they
will show and give you everything that you had been missing.
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